I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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