I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
