Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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