Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
