What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm at about main and main street
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
