i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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