They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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