She announced her abortion via fbk
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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