You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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