When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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