The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just cropdusted the office
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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