I think i sorta joined a cult last night
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
