She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
tell me about the eggs
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
