you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
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