What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
