I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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