Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
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