Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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