real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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