Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
