I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
