the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I see more hoeing in ur future
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