My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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