my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
