i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
