the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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