You made me cry and you don't even care
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
