He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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