we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
