I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
