Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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