If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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