i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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