I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
