and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
