I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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