I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
