Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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