Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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