He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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