If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
