Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
