I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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