If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I just saw a hot homeless man
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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