i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
