I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
