you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
NoShamevember. You game?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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