you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
