if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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