I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize