Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
