You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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