$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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