Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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