Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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