No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
