How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
